Blog

Coming Out

Coming out was not about finally realizing who I was; it was about realizing that there were other people that did not feel the way that I did, that there was language to name how I felt, and that I was not alone.

Support without acceptance

It’s easy to confuse someone occupying space in the world with them asking you to be in that space. What I mean is: just because queer and trans folks want to be recognized and respected, doesn’t mean we think that in order to be respected, other people have to...

To answer the question: “Do you still sing?”

I have learned that there is a difference between my physical voice, and my voice in the broader sense. I have mastered my physical voice – all the nuances, the breaking points; learned the ways my voice likes to move and blossom. There is freedom and joy in the practise of using my voice in that way on stage. But I needed something more.

Vulnerability Magic: One Year Sober

Inspired by a little silver plastic chip in my pocket that said “Women in Recovery” on one side and the serenity prayer on the other (and my phone full of new numbers), I found a desire within me that I hadn’t even known I wanted until I stepped into that meeting. I wanted myself back.

When fear is the appropriate response to money

Our bodies contain blueprints for the structures we dream of. We will not make our way out of capitalism and other oppressive structures by desensitizing ourselves to the effects of oppression. We will not undo oppression by applying the attitudes of colonizers to the lands of our own bodies and intuitions.

Using Your Voice Again: A Plan of Action

Let yourself rage against all the reasons you stopped using your voice. Rage against money, capitalism, the lie of meritocracy, the optimism of youth, the institutions that lulled you into passivity, the warnings you did not heed, misogyny. Shame, emotional abuse, trauma, microagressions. Sore throats, lies. Shed your tears for all those moments of connection you lost because you did not sing. 

No More Silence

I know I am not the first person to speak, and that the reason I am able to find the courage to do so is because I am adding my voice to the chorus of many who have come before me. I honour those who said the first word, then the second and third.

Rehearsing Trauma: How working on an opera helped me heal

How do I embody a character fully, fall in love with the character, learn its idiosyncrasies, when that character must undergo torture daily on stage, sometimes multiple times, with increasing detail, depth, and dramatic timing? How do I rehearse trauma?

33 Reasons to Make Art Today

You want to.That’s how art gets made - when it is made today. No art ever gets made tomorrow.It will make your day better.If you do it today, it will likely be much easier to do it again tomorrow.To beat your internal resistance.Because it is an act of resistance...

Taste vs. Flow

I think many artists feel like they are getting better when they experience more flow in their work, when they can feel as though they are transcending the craft and technique of their medium and expressing something from an internal impulse. It is from this place of flowing energy (as opposed to a block), that the most authentic expression can happen, and a greater volume of work can be created.

The Berlin Series: Art

If there was one word to describe Berlin, it would be 'angst'. The tumultuous history of the city still feels very present in a physical way, with bullet holes in some buildings and bits of the wall still visible. This also translates into the general societal...

The Berlin Series: Flights

I am going to try something new to blog about this trip. I will publish a series of posts focussing on my experience of different aspects of my trip. Stay tuned for at least 3 more installations! Here's the first one:FlightsIn terms of smart travel, this has been the...

2011 and 25!

So here we are - a new year, a new semester, a new decade, and I just turned 25. I don't really feel like anything has changed, but I have taken this opportunity to examine what about me has changed recently - my desires, goals, and outlook on life. I think any young...

Candel’s in The getto

I woke up at 4:45am to catch the public transit to the airport. The goal: arrive in Manhattan in time to sing my Zurich Opera Studio audition at noon, and hop on the 1:30pm bus back to Montreal. Mission: accomplished; and what fun!I think I could get used to whirlwind...

What singing is all about for me

I want to share with you something that re-awoke in me the very essence of singing and what it means to be a good singer. This performance that I am showing you may or may not be technically sound, it may or may not have contained good diction or perfect dramatic...