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Personal
Gender, sex, relationships, trauma, mental health, intimate struggles and celebrations. Some of this writing is 18+ only, some will have content warnings.
When I am referred to as "she," I still feel excluded, invisible, misunderstood. This is a feeling that I do my best to transform into energy to educate would-be allies.
I have learned that there is a difference between my physical voice, and my voice in the broader sense. I have mastered my physical voice - all the nuances, the breaking points; learned the ways my voice likes to move and blossom. There is freedom and joy in the practise of using my voice in that way on stage. But I needed something more.
Inspired by a little silver plastic chip in my pocket that said “Women in Recovery” on one side and the serenity prayer on the other (and my phone full of new numbers), I found a desire within me that I hadn’t even known I wanted until I stepped into that meeting. I wanted myself back.
In order for you to believe us,You are going to have to learn to forgive yourself.And that is the hardest thing you’ll ever do.
Let yourself rage against all the reasons you stopped using your voice. Rage against money, capitalism, the lie of meritocracy, the optimism of youth, the institutions that lulled you into passivity, the warnings you did not heed, misogyny. Shame, emotional abuse, trauma, microagressions. Sore throats, lies. Shed your tears for all those moments of connection you lost because you did not sing.
I know I am not the first person to speak, and that the reason I am able to find the courage to do so is because I am adding my voice to the chorus of many who have come before me. I honour those who said the first word, then the second and third.
How do I embody a character fully, fall in love with the character, learn its idiosyncrasies, when that character must undergo torture daily on stage, sometimes multiple times, with increasing detail, depth, and dramatic timing? How do I rehearse trauma?
You want to.That’s how art gets made - when it is made today. No art ever gets made tomorrow.It will make your day ...
‘Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.’ -Thomas ...
I don’t want a summer job.
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So – that was that. My master’s degree. Was I dreaming?
I have been recently hit with the common ...
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This reading week, I am trying to complete all the coursework I have left for the semester, so I can focus on ...
As I draw closer to graduation, I find myself turning down opportunities.
I use all kinds of excuses – I ...
After my angst-ey previous post, I bet you are wondering, dear reader, how things went in Berlin!
Things went ...
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I want to share with you something that re-awoke in me the very essence of singing and what it means to be a good ...
CBC Radio is the reason why I love classical music, and why I initially came to love Canada, my country. Our ...
Do they come together? They did this week!
Snow: For weeks, we endured the dry-ish, rainy cold. No ...
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What I would want if I had absolutely no limitations, followed by the percent chance of it happening within 2 ...
A colleague of mine recently initiated a wonderful peer-evaluating performance group. We meet every week and sing ...
A colleague of mine recently initiated a wonderful peer-evaluating performance group. We meet every week and ...
I am trying to stay focussed on the reason why I decided to make music for a living. Beyond all of the judgement ...
I am one of those crazy people.
You know, those people who decide that they would like to transport themselves ...
I am convinced: the best way to travel is by train. It is the greenest, safest, most scenic and most relaxing ...
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Something special happened today.Mid-afternoon, I had my voice lesson. While singing the Presentation of the Rose ...
Wherever I am in fall, it always makes me nostalgic – either nostalgic in advance of the time when I will actually ...
I was five years old when I started Kindergarten. I remember my main goal in kindergarten was to be allowed to go ...
By Elia Kazan I will take my rightful place on the stage And I will be myself. I am not a cosmic orphan, I have no ...
What a summer this has been! Of course, I started the summer with the intention of learning Figaro, as well as ...
Wordsworth hits the nail on the head when he writes about the effect of modern society on the natural beauty of ...
As you may or may not know, the ability to travel to sing for various conductors and directors is essential in the ...
It is hard to live a balanced life when you are a singer, and even more so as a student. First of all, you have ...
People want to work with people who are interesting and who stroke their own egos. People don't want to work with ...
ENFJExtraverted 67% Intuitive 38% Feeling 62%Judging 22%ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They ...
I have alot of different interests. Someday, I would love to open a restaurant, a café, a bookstore. I always ...
I have quite a few people coming to visit Montreal this summer.... this is so great!I have formulated and tested ...
Love yourself.MAKE PEACE with who you areand where you at this moment in time.Listen to your heart.If you can’t ...
I recently posted a list of questions from Wolf Trap Opera's blog about pursuing a career in the performing arts. ...
The question always is:What is that intangible thing that distinguishes a good performer from a great ...
Today I started following the blog of someone I don't know, but which was recommended to me by a friend. It is ...
After making my recording last week, I needed a few epiphanies to help me start to really love my voice again, and ...
Making a recording is always interesting. In fact, I believe I began a blog post with that exact sentence about a ...
Firstly, all the voices without exception show remarkable flexibility, the tone is made to come and go in the form ...
...or am in the process of learning.-Even though embellishments and ornamentation are sometimes expected, the ...
Kay, Elster. Bel Canto and the Sixth Sense: A discursive and technical essay on the traditional Italian physical ...
My day spent in New York was, for the most part, one of those days where nothing goes wrong. We woke up to a ...
I haven't been to New York since two years ago when I was here with my mom. At that time, I was about to make the ...
It is 2 am and I am not supposed to blog, but that is when these things come to me. Inopportune times. In fact, ...
The past few days I have been sick. This is normally a bad thing, but this time it has enabled me to finish alot ...
Things have been clicking and clicking and clicking into place in the past few weeks. Finally, I am beginning to ...
For the Mozartian singer must use his voice with the same strength and agility as the ballet dancer uses his ...
I think most people know me as a fairly hard worker. I hate to admit it, but whenever someone has said that to ...
-Going into the practise rooms at 9:00pm on a Saturday night and having to WAIT for a practise room. It is so ...
Ever since before I began my undergrad, I wanted to attend McGill. Montreal seemed so far away and culturally ...