i am not in love anymore

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📅 Published on February 14, 2007

i was absolutely smitten with my man that i am painting, but now i am not so sure. he is very high maintenance. i had a very frustrating painting day because i have never really painted like this before, and i cannot figure out those neutral flesh tones at all. i ended up curling up in front of my painting in frustration, then going outside and having to vent to the world. it was pretty intense. i care that it looks good – i need to let go of my ego, the same as drawing. i will post a picture. it doesnt look that bad. it is just taking me a long time.

tango was fun, but my teacher is really sick and my new partner was a no show. i danced with others, which i like to do anyway. i didnt learn anything super new, but i had to make a little debriefing speech in french in the class. do i really have that bad an accent? i dont think so.

i didnt get much sleep, as usual for wednesday night so i am exhausted now and getting sick. i am feeling lightheaded and i just really need to go to bed.


today i went to a dress rehearsal of a contemporary ballet instead of going to the louvre. the choreographer is very famous, and is now 80 years old. it was captivating and beautiful. i want to draw dancers.

it is raining but warm.

talk to you tomorrow, probably later, like today.

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